We can’t live in the past


We can’t live in the past. What’s done is done.

We can and should learn from the past. Hopefully we can treasure and celebrate it, but they’re memories. They’re not real.

Living in the past is impossible. If we try, it will make us miserable or destroy us.

We can only exist in the present.

Living for today is what’s important right now. Make a plan and act on it to make your tomorrow better than yesterday.

Spending too much time wondering “what if?”….”what if I had taken that path instead of this one? “…”what if I had done something different, would it have made a difference?” will destroy you.

The past is gone. The more time and energy we put into looking back at what could have been or should have happened, the less “here” there will be for us, now.

The future does not yet exist. All we have is now, the present, today.

The Art of Motivation: How to Get Yourself to Make Changes in Your Life


Understanding how to motivate yourself to make changes in your life is an essential skill.

Motivation is a tricky thing. It’s hard to sift through the noise and focus on what really matters, especially when it comes to our own lives.

We want to do everything we can for ourselves, but sometimes the best intentions are not enough because of all the other distractions that surround us.

One of the main reasons why we sabotage ourselves is because we are half-hearted about making the changes.

Truthfully, it can be really hard to motivate yourself when you’re not even sure that what you want will make a difference in your life – and if it won’t, why bother trying – and especially if you’ve been unsuccessful in the past and are afraid of trying again because it feels like failure will haunt you.

But, there is a mindset hack that makes motivation easy which is to acknowledge YOU ARE MOTIVATED.

If you had no motivation, you wouldn’t do anything, at all, ever. And you already have high levels of discipline in you. Don’t believe me?

Do people go to work every day? Where does that motivation come from? Why do people keep that up even if they hate their jobs?

So, we’re going to discard the idea that you’re not driven by motivation. You are. You just need to hack the framework for your motivation.

Very little comes without the need for any effort.

The second mistake people make is that they set a goal that’s way too far off.

When it comes to getting motivated to change your life, very few people successfully achieve the whole journey from beginning to end. Instead, work at achieving just the first 20 percent of what is needed.

Think of the goal in terms of a series of milestones. As you pass each milestone – 30 days, 90 days, six months, a year, few years, your odds of quitting fall sharply. Make it six to 12 months and you really have a shot.

And be flexible. Focus on momentum first, then the direction of travel. It’s a rule that I live my life by: momentum is everything. If you can create enough momentum, you become unstoppable.

Absolutely hold yourself accountable for the short-term goals – the next 10, 20, 30 days, but don’t spend any time worrying about what you might accomplish in the future. Worry about it when the time is right, but not before.

One Simple Mindset Shift To Boost Productivity


If you want to get more done, try this one simple mindset shift to boost productivity, get more done and be more focussed on the task at hand.

In this day and age, it’s hard to stay focused on the task at hand. There are so many distractions that constantly pull our focus away from what we should be doing. But with a small mindset shift you can turn your productivity around!

The saying “mind over matter” is real. When we are determined and our willpower is strong, things seem to come easily. So start with this small mindset shift:

Time is your most valuable commodity.

When you’re on-task and achieving your goal, imagine money being deposited into your bank account. When you allow yourself to be distracted, money is being withdrawn.

When you start with this simple mindset, it’s significantly easier to stay focused on the task at hand.

By being aware of how precious your time is and you start making better decisions about what you do with it.

The more time you spend allowing yourself to be distracted, the less you can earn. And we know how easy it is to be distracted in the 21st century.

And remember, take one task at a time. Multi-tasking is Bull***t. Research shows that multitasking only makes people less productive and more prone to mistakes.

So, choose a task. Set time limits for that task and block out distractions which will allow you the freedom of working on one task until you’ve completed it.

Want to know more about your mindset?

Take the mindset quiz (on Facebook). 12 questions and I’ll give you personalized recommendations on how to build a stronger, more resilient mindset.

Struggling to achieve a goal? Try this

Struggling to achieve a goal?
I feel your pain. It’s hard.
It’s hard because our brains are wired to expect to see effort easily and quickly rewarded.
But the world doesn’t always work that way (you may have noticed).
Diets are easy when we get that instant and positive feedback when we stand on the scales. They get hard when the scales tell you it didn’t work. Then we give up.
In business, we rarely get that instant feedback, and that’s why people give in and let doubt and fear take over.
How do hack that mindset?
We’re going to feed rather than fight the need for instant feedback by making the goal the PROCESS rather than the outcome.
So, we’re going to find a handful of micro-habits that we can get hooked on because creating / supplanting new habits is much easier that breaking existing habits.
✅ Commit to a set amount of time. If it’s new to you, 3-5 days is fine
✅ Journal in the morning and evening. Clearly set your goals for the day and review them
✅ Find a TED Talks channel on YouTube and watch a video twice a day
✅ Walk / Exercise twice a day
✅ Connect with 5 new people each day

The First Casualty Of Anger: You

You’re generally the first casualty of anger.
When you let yourself get angry at a ‘thing’ or something that happened, the ‘thing’ can’t tell you’re angry. It can’t care how you feel. It can’t change.
When you let yourself get angry at someone, it rarely solves the problem. All too often, they get entrenched in their position and get angry back at you. It escalates.
When something can be solved, coming to it with anger is rarely a good start.
Anger is such a waste of time and energy.

Mindset Hack: Perspective is Everything


The perspective we take on our lives has a tremendous impact on our mindset. The way we see things can be seen through a positive, bright tint, or a negative, dark tint. It’s up to us.

Is your house dirty or just ‘lived-in’?

Are you poor or unburdened?

Are you unfit, or growing stronger through resistance training?

Do you drive a junk-bucket, or a reliable motor?

The way we choose to describe ourselves and our situations determines so much of the reality we live.

The language we use can either give us control, or deprives us of it, hurls judgment or provides hope. Which will it be? It’s your choice.

The power of perspective is incredible…yet most of the time we cede control by ‘imagining’ how other people perceive us rather than trusting our own perception.

In doing so, we’re letting others determine our identity.

It’s a fast track to misery!

William Shakespeare said: “nothing [is] neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so”.

We can pull a filter over our lives. We can choose a bright one, or a dark one. It’s as simple as that. 

Perspective is everything. So choose it wisely.

Overcoming negative self talk


Do you ever find yourself in a negative self-talk loop?

How do you break the cycle and get your positivity back?

Use these tools.

Hold Up The Stop Sign
The moment you start to put yourself down, take notice. Ask questions of the other person in your head and imagine their response as a way to catch these thoughts before they turn into words that hurt.

You’re Not Your Thoughts
The way we think about ourselves really doesn’t have much bearing on who we actually are inside – it just has an effect on how good or bad things feel for us as time goes by.

Contain Your Negativity
Sometimes, when we find ourselves engaging in negative self-talk it helps to contain the damage by only allowing a critical inner voice to criticize certain things. This puts limits on how much negativity can come from that situation.

Set A Time Limit
Sometimes looking at things in the long-term helps you realize that maybe you’re placing too much emphasis on something. Will that thing you’re criticising yourself for now really matter in 5 day / weeks / months from now?

Think Like A Friend
When our inner critic is at its worst, it can sound like a bully. Often we’ll say things to ourselves in our heads that we would never dream of saying to a friend. Why not reverse this and—when you catch yourself being negative in your head—make it an opportunity for some self-care by thinking about how you’d share the same words with someone close who really needs them?

Stop Thoughting
This is the practice of stopping repetitive or critical thoughts as they enter our minds by snapping a rubber band on our wrist when we notice them happening or visualizing an image that symbolizes thinking differently (such as picturing a yellow traffic light).

The Most Powerful Mindset Strategy


My 150 (ish) words of wisdom for today.

And this is really powerful. It’s the way I live my life.. It’s THE most powerful mindset.

Act as if everything that happens is (or will be) for the good.

In doing so, we’re abandoning the notions of failure or defeat.

When something goes wrong, doesn’t work the way you expected or “failed” the outcome other than you expected is just a trigger for another opportunity.

You’ve learnt something new, don’t dwell, armed with that learning, pivot and keep moving.

I’m going to repeat this…..

Act as if everything that happens is (or will be) for the good.

Move forward.

If that seems, well, just too easy….book a session for free and let’s chat it through.

How To Shake-Off Negative Thoughts


We’re heading into a long weekend here in the UK. An extra day to enjoy and unwind. But that’s easier said than done IF we can shake off negative thoughts that linger from the working week.

I suffer from this – I am sure everyone does to some extent – something happens, perhaps we’ve made a mistake or had crossed words, we felt bad, for sure, but we just can’t shake-off the feeling and memory. We can’t move on. 

Our minds do this to ourselves all the time. It’s normal. It’s not a fault or weekness.

But here’s a great tool to help.

  • take a piece of paper or open a doc on your phone or computer
  • create two columns
  • in the first column, write down what happens and how you feel
  • in column two, answer these questions;
    • Is this thought in any way useful or helpful?
    • Is it true? (Can I absolutely know that it’s true)
    • Is this just an old story that my mind is playing out of habit?
    • Does this thought help me take effective action?
    • Is this though helpful or is my mind just babbling on?

When we do this, there’s a couple of things going on which make it so effective:

  • We’re moving it from our subconscious mind into our conscious mind. We’re fronting up to it (and in some cases, how ridiculous it is) 
  • It’s done, it’s in the past. Either it’s useful or it’s not, so in processing it, and rationalising it, we have the best chance of closing it off

Hope this helps.